Nathan and I are studying in a School of Biblical Studies with Youth with a Mission. We are going through the bible over nine months, with an inductive bible study method.

At the end of each book we have the opportunity to have a "Creative Application" where we creatively express what we learned from the book. I've been wanting to write for some time and this book in particular touched on a nerve, so to say.

We studied the book of Amos this week, a book of prophesy directed to the nation of Israel before they were sent into exile by the Assyrians in 722 BC. The prophesy of Amos calls the Israelites to recognize how empty and showy their worship of God is, especially in light of how they are abusing the poor and needy in their communities.

Some history:

Israel split from Judah and Jerusalem under the reign of Solomon's son, Rehoboam and Jeroboam, the king of the newly formed Israel, decided to erect altars with golden calves so that the people of Israel would not travel to Judah to worship God in Jerusalem (1 Kings 12). Thus, from the beginning of the divided kingdom, what was called Israel worshiped idols and did not follow the covenant God made with their fathers. Amos prophesied during the days of Jeroboam king of Israel and Uzziah king of Judah (Amos 1:1). We know from 2 Kings 14:23-29 that though Jeroboam II was an evil king, God was gracious toward Israel and made them prosper because he "saw that the affliction of Israel was very bitter, for there was none left, bond or free, and there was none to help Israel" (2 Kings 14:26).

So in Amos we see that Israel is living in luxury, offering extravagant gifts at their temples (Amos 3:4-5) and living in beautiful homes (5:11). Moreover we find immediately that the Israelites have been abusing the poor and needy in their communities. God says they were selling the righteous for silver and the needy for a pair of sandals. They were trampling the heads of the poor (Amos 2:6-7).

This book is incredibly challenging for me for this reason: Israel thought they were doing well. They thought God was prospering their nation. They thought their extravagant worship was appealing to him, buying his favor. In contrast God says that they should have been grieved over the "ruin of Joseph" (Amos 6:6). They didn't realize that in God's eyes, in reality, they were in ruins because they oppressed the poor. Their opulence and success in battle wasn't because they were doing well but because they were living in ways that made them rich on the backs of the poor. In fact because they were acting so evilly towards the poor, God calls their feasts undesirably, their music like noise. He says: "Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. BUT let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream" (Amos 5:23-24).

The conviction in my heart is that I believe many in the West - myself as well - have, throughout time, thought that our prosperity is from the hand of God because we have been holy and good. Our luxurious lives are a gift from God, given so that we can make a difference.

But what if the truth is, that at this point, our lives are luxurious simply because they are built on the backs of the poor? 

What if we are the Israelites, lying in our beds of ivory, no weeping over the ruin that God sees?  Isn't that a frightening though?

It doesn't take long to realize the world is not fair. The secular world and the church know it. Our economic system is only possible because the poor are taken advantage of. I highly recommend watching movies like "58:" to get more informed:

http://www.live58.org/thefilm/

The question for me is what can I do about it? I know my jeans were made in Bangladesh and my glasses in China and likely they were stitched together by small hands thankful for a job yet underpaid. What can I do about it? I think a good place to start for the church and for concerned believers is to ask their own hearts and God if they are confident their choices are right.

For me, especially in the world of clothing, I have been overwhelmed to see how much is thrown out for the new. Do we need new wardrobes every season? Do we need to give in to trends that are changed just so corporations can make more money? Do you know the history of clothes making? Not so long ago, things were not like they are now.

I would encourage believers to discover what some have termed "The Tyranny of Trends": http://www.etsy.com/blog/en/2011/the-tyranny-of-trends/

This article especially convicted me on how much value I place on my clothing and really what has happened to the clothing industry over the last 1oo years:
http://www.etsy.com/blog/en/2011/the-history-of-a-cheap-dress/

 Sometime last year I frequented a Salvation Army near to our new city home. For a small town girl like me, whose only boutique experience was the MCC thrift shop in town (we do call it "the boutique"), this was the most familiar for-fun shopping center I could relate to. What shocked me however, was the amount of EVERYTHING in there. Much to the constant and unabashed surprise of my husband, I would always find something beautiful and useful there. I love to thrift - it's in my blood.

One of the most interesting parts of the thrift shop for me was the jean section. Oh, the elusive jean pant, where all your dreams come true!I think there were four long stretches of jean racks, reaching the length of the store. Why? Because you and I have bitten the bait that jeans will do it all for us. When we buy a pair, we drop sometimes 50... sometimes 100 bucks... on a pair hoping that this will be it. So many discarded jeans, so many unfulfilled dreams, made it to that one Salvation Army. The things was, I couldn't help but find 4 or 5 designer pairs that fit me perfectly each time.

Why am I talking about jeans so much you ask? Because in that moment, when I looked at over a thousand pairs of blue cotton woven into a promising golden hope, I realize what our society believed. We needed new, more, better, best and when it wasn't perfect, we needed to repeat. The jeans section of that Salvation Army was an allegory, telling a deep and broken story of a society in ruins.

I would encourage all of you to take a step back from your life right now and question if  there is any way you give your participation in this society of abuse for the sake of prosperity and if it is something you want to be a part of. Are there creative ways for you to change how you live so that your choices are ones you can be proud of?

For me, I am considering never walking into another department store or mall again with the intent of buying something. I am just too tired of seeing perfectly good and beautiful clothing in second hand stores, which beautifully enough generally support local or international missions or projects. I am happy keeping my wardrobe full of previously owned but lovely clothing which when purchased supports my community or overseas missions rather than corporations. Its a small choice, and can hardly change the world but it is a step. I want to model conscious choices. That's what I can do. What can you?

I like this - Jon Foreman's song based on Amos 5:21-24:

1. A man asked you to marry him. (yes, this did happen over a month after my last post, but I wasn't a daily poster anyways so :P::::)

2. You had 5 months to plan a wedding that would knock the socks off all of your new family members AND would set a precedent for the 10 kazillion other weddings happening this summer.

3. Your wedding occurred just 2 weeks after exam period, leading to strange exam dreams on choosing the best wedding cupcake, new and chic wedding colour combination for the summer, and "3 Ways to Pass Off a Toilet Paper Gown" when and if you forget yours on the big day.

4. You moved. Twice.

5. (a) You have been trying to attain perfect housewife status (though you cannot understand where all the dust and dirt comes from, considering you just swept last Thursday.)

(b) You got a puppy that is longing to be house-trained.)

People moving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don't you wanna curve away?
When it's such…
It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day

Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYtk1Z0UUuE

It's funny.

Sometimes I seem to believe that God has been created for me.

You know, designed to meet my needs, pat me on the back, collect my tears, affirm me in every area, be the ultimate friend, the ultimate lover, always calling me, always pursuing me.

And though these characteristics are very like my God, there is something missing in the picture.

He isn't always at my beck and call.
These moments get to me, the moments when I'm frustrated with my failings, frustrated with my lack, frustrated with the world. and the phone STILL isn't ringing.
Why isn't my God meeting my needs? I mean, after all, that's what he's there for, right?

Well, (oh, the painful lessons)
in being the ultimate lover, the ultimate friend, the ultimate father, God does not always meet me where and how I expect (and even demand) of him.
My God is wild and I can't wrap my head around him.
He doesn't do things to the rhythm of an equation, he doesn't always meet me where and when I want him to.
He doesn't always pat my heart and soothe my fears the way I want him to.

This is a hard place to be, broken hearted, and longing for intimacy with my Lord. Yet, I'm always reminded in these desperate times, how feeling passionate (although frustrated) is better than no feeling, no contending, no working out. Is this his way of reminding me how I just can't live without him? Is this his way of reminding me how I'm just not complete without him in my life?

Working out my salvation... working out my relationship with my Lord God... it's hard work, painful, sweat and tears, and yet the joy (these shining glimmers that seep through from some heavenly place) pushes me, thrusts me on.

I must persist.
I cannot abandon this.
I must allow his love, his wild, unpredictable, yet undeniably GOOD love to woo my heart.

I have faith that this battle will one day be over,
and I will see clearly the face of love, and the lover of my soul.

When you stare at the sun (even for a moment) it's hard to see anything else afterward.

When you stare at the Son (even for a moment) it's hard to see anything else afterward.

It can be a little frightening because you're not sure what will happen.

And you've heard warnings all your life.

You'll lose your vision staring like that.

But maybe I want to let go of my vision. And grab hold of a new one.

The blinding light that steals my own sight and forces me to rely on a new way of seeing the world - unfamiliar and vulnerable - not knowing where my steps are taking me.

but maybe I can trust Him.

After all, He is the author of every good thing in my life.
My own vision would have taken me so far away from this place I find myself in right now.
I wouldn't trade this place for any other.

So I'll continue to stare at the sun,
despite the liars whispering around me reminding me I'm losing my control.
I smile because it's true. And it's the safest place to be.
No strength but what He gives.
And no vision, but what He sees.
And absolutely no safety but the faith I have in His good plans.

Infinitely better than mine.

I am so blessed. I feel that I am blessed beyond comparison.
This has been such an amazing month for me.
I've been overwhelmed by God and his goodness, his gifts, his presence, his encouragement for my life.
I'm not sure how I deserve to be so rich in all things that matter, but it seems to be the way this spring season has started.

And yet, I can't help wonder again and again why I, of all people, am on the receiving end of so much love.
Who am I?
Why me?
Why not the next lonely girl?

There are so many people in this world, down your street, down mine, living their lives feeling completely alone.
Their feelings are justly so, as they are truly alone.

HOW CAN IT BE?

I want to love. I want to bless.
(no, it's not just that...)

You know what?
I want to be a person that loves first. that blesses first.

BECAUSE

What good is it if I only love those that love me?
What good is it if I only bless those that are in the position of blessing me?

Then it ends with me.

I don't want the fruit of God's love to die in my hands, selfishly hording it, gorging myself on it, and never scattering seeds, never seeing new fruit.

What good is my loved one's investment in me if I don't in turn love?
They might as well be hiding their cash in their mattresses.

I can only offer what I have.
Yet God has blessed me beyond comparison.
I have much.
What can I do with it?

I'm glad God is big enough to use small things.

it's more than i can contain
more than i can maintain
am i big enough for this?

and who am i anyways
working towards something bigger than me
working for something i can't see...

...just hear

and i hear you almost everyday
not sure of all the ways
i hear
but you do, do, do talk to me

and I'm sort of sure that you're proud of me
and I'm almost sure that you love me
and I'm pretty sure that I'll never do it all right
but I'm completely sure you'll be there on the other side.

so what can i bring
these small hands
tossing sand at
miles of sea

so what can i bring
these small words
chasing ideals
i can't see

so the picture is painted
it's bigger than i
and I'm looking up at the vast expanse
of this broken sky

and i know you want to work
and i know you have spoken
and i know you made plans
and I'm completely sure you'll be there on the other side.
I'm completely sure you'll be there on the other side.