itslastcall

well hello.

*sigh*
so maybe crystal's hitting the wall. i don't know. i found myself last night just wanting to go home. not because i'm not enjoying it here. not at all. its just this whole thing of giving 110% ALL the time. my heart and my head are tired.
its been a crazy week. it was about relationships. so we spent a lot of time learning about who we are and understanding others. then about dealing with conflict. erg.
crystal apparently loves conflict, but HATES misunderstandings. and the week has been full of them. maybe it was highschool that bred such a fear or being disliked in me. i would say my oppinion straight up, and people thought i was a jerk.
i got put in group 4. group 4's are the pastors. wise, reliable, compassionate, dedicated to having everyone just get along. its true. but crystal still has this voice in her. the voice that demands justice. if i think something is wrong, i need to speak up. if i do the thing that will promote complete peace, not talking, i will be denying me to be myself. BUT I'VE LEARNED TO DO IT SO WELL.
another thing that we talked about yesterday was tolerence vs intolerence. just to put this in, the speaker, karen, is so beautiful. shes Alive...the only way i could explain her is that she shimmers. everywhere, to unbelievers and believers alike. a breath of fresh air. so she was encouraging us to simply love. it sounds good but where do you draw the line? when do you confront someone about what they are doing? i asked it. i did. we had a good discussion about it. i guess its not really up to us to confront unbelievers at all. i mean, what right do we have to judge their sin? they aren't asking us to. its not about how much they are sinning. the fact is that they don't have "resurection life" as karen would put it. they are dead. we want them alive before we can even think about their sin. i guess. i'm still working on this one. if people aren't asking to be diciplied do we have a right to do anything but love them? i don't think so.
well i need to get ready. ahh we have worship today. i'm so happy. i wish we had it everyday.
i love you guys. please keep praying for me. STRENGTH, BOLDNESS, LIFE, JOY, PERSERVERENCE :)