itslastcall

its so hard to find my words when i'm staring at this white blank screen. typists block.

i have lots to say, starting off with this; i've realized something about myself.

i am quite content to rest in other peoples revelations.

i can listen to sermons, hear my friends and mentors talk, and become quite encouraged. i even convince myself i can build up my faith, simply by listening to others. what a crock ( i dont think i've even typed crock before)

if i think i can mantain my God-relationship simply on other peoples steam i am mistaken. because a sermon can only be so encouraging. and when i leave, i may think about it for a few hours, even a day or so. but what good is it to me?
WHERE IS MY OWN REVELATION? WHERE IS MY OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?

if i was introduced to Aladdin through a friend but only knew Aladdin by what my friend told me (however truthful and good) i would never really know Aladdin. Sure i know he has a great heart, has had trouble with honesty in the past, is desperatly in love with a princess... but none of this stuff could really impact me unless i knew him. personally. through my own interactions with him.

i'm fooling myself if i think that i can know God simply by resorting to other peoples hardwork. (mooch) i've been completely content to listen to others preach the bible, read books on other peoples experiences, and i've come to my own oppinions from that. but until i start reading my bible with the intent to learn straight from God i dont think i'm going to move from this place i'm in right now. Or i will move but i'll be learning the hard way.

i have had another thought on my walk today but i think i'll save it for later. i'm still trying to digest this one.