It's the Final Countdown
Well January is here, and that means we are now within the one-month countdown range till my departure. (I leave Jan. 29th, 2009)
This whole thing is a bit hard. I've decided that I'm not the type of person to get overly excited about a big trip. I find myself generally reserved about it, explaining what my plan is to others, and watching them get more excited about it than me. This doesn't mean that I'm not looking forward to it... but there are lots of things to consider. It isn't just a sweet U.S. road trip or two-week holiday to the Caribbean.
Because I made the choice to be gone for just under two months, it is costing me my job. I love my job. I love my co-workers, the work, the people that I see and have gotten to know. I feel connected to my community in a way that I've never experienced before. People recognize me. I recognize them. I like that.
Now, I knew my employers were probably going to hire someone to replace me, but it's becoming more and more tangible... visible... I'm being replaced. That doesn't feel very nice. I am still hoping to be able to get my job back when I come home.
Even though I like my job, feel very secure in it and want it back when I come home, I often remind myself that I don't want to make "bank-teller" my life career. If that is the case, I can't let security and comfort take the reins concerning what I do with myself. I can't miss out on opportunity just because I'm comfortable (and somewhat lazy) sitting where I am.
Listen to me; all of this isn't to say that I'm not wanting to leave. I was only just today thinking about how awesome it will be to be surrounded with people who have accents. I think about little details that I'm going to experience very soon, like the butterflies in your stomach when the plane starts being taxied down the runway and you know you can't get off or turn around and you are really truly going somewhere new and sensational.
It does make sense that I have mini panic attacks though, if we are to consider this to be God-planned. Which I do. I really believe this is where I'm supposed to be. So, wouldn't I be a prime target for a little fear-mongering.
Pray for me?
Jan. 8th, 2009
7:10 p.m. | |
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8 comments:
haven't checked your blog in... oh... a year, and so here i am, checking in. crystal, i will definitely miss you. i love hanging out with you and talking, and i am so happy that someone thought we were sisters because i would LOVE to be your sister. teehee. ;) but anyway, i will definitely pray for you during this adventure. i know God has some awesome things in store for you in your life and i can't wait to see what they are (just please don't stay out there... we couldn't bear it)! :)
dutchie mel will take good care of you.
i totally know what you're feeling ,crystal. sounds just like me before i left germany. and i am still going through phases like that now when i'm about to do something i haven't done before. but you're right: the drive to not let myself just be comfortable and lazy was the thing that carried me through and this year abroad was the best thing i could have done this year. i mean heck, these opportunities don't come around every day. i wish you an awesome last 3 weeks at home and i hope that your excitement mounts, even if you might not feel that way right now!!!
Hey Crystal
I just wanted to say that even though jobs and the leaving of them can be tough decisions, in the end you just have to leap out in faith and trust God. Remember how excited you were when you first decided and how your gut instinct was to right away go to Switzerland, and use that to encourage yourself. God will be faithful, and He will continue to bless you in every possible way. If you never went, you might have that regret down the line, but if you go, you will realize it was the right choice. So go in peace, and enjoy it! :)
cystal, I think it is awesome that you're stepping out of your comfortable place in life...God has big plans for you! I will miss singing with you while you're gone, though:)
crystal! yup i can understand your feelings, even though i only went to another part of canada (o I haven't noticed too many accents, though to be honest, most the people I have met aren't even from Nova Scotia!). I'm a prayin for ya! Miss you!
kyla
hi gorgeous.
I'm so happy you are going somewhere. You get to leave this freezer. You get to have your mind blown by all the diversity and differences that you will learn from. You will remember all this with fondness, and miss it all, but you will be sooooo excited that you jumped out of the plane.
(please don't really jump out of the plane...) I'll miss seeing your beautifulness at church...
Hey Crystal!!!
Looking forward seeing you soon!!!
Lenneke!
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